And the stockings were hung by the chimney with care…by someone with an actual chimney and money to spend on stockings. Good for them. We’ll be over here wrapping homemade presents in tinfoil. YOU’RE WELCOME.

Our gift? It’s WRITE CLUB: WRECK THE HALLS. Lest you think we’ve gotten off easy, understand this curated collection of the city’s brightest and sharpest is no easy feat. And we do it all for you. Here’s your lineup:

PAST (Annie Share) v FUTURE (Audrey Jonas)

MERRY (Carmenita Peoples) v BRIGHT (Steph Diaz)

GIVE (Tania Richard) v RECEIVE (Evelyn Troutman)

Remember, each combatant has only 7 minutes for their topic, and the only way to determine who wins $100 and The Loving Cup of Deathless Fucking Glory is by YOUR applause. So get to GMan Tavern on 12/16 and get an artist paid (the one who doesn’t win still gets $50) while you expand your mind and laugh a lot. BOOM. Holiday…fixed? Maybe. But a damn good time all the same.